More Than Throwing a Rock Into a Pond and Watching It Sink to the Bottom

⊹ ࣪ ˖ ꒰ঌ Currently... ໒꒱ ⊹ ࣪ ˖

Mood: Determined

Weather: Sunny with High Winds

Listening to: 777 Pt. 1 by Latto

Reading: The Premed Playbook Guide to the Medical School Personal Statement: Everything You Need to Successfully Apply by Ryan Gray

Watching: Fresh Pretty Cure!

Playing: Thirsty Suitors

Drinking: Iced Lavender Matcha Latte

Perfume: "Heavenly" by Victoria Secret

It's been abnormally warm where I live for February! It's felt really strange. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy the warm weather and all the sun we've been getting, but I haven't been able to shake off the feeling that it doesn't feel right. There hasn't been solid snow on the ground other than once that quickly melted away back in January, meanwhile Winter Storm Lorraine is absolutely dumping snow in the northeast! Don't get me wrong, I'm not someone who loves winter. I genuinely don't care for the snow or cold, but I'm also someone who thrives on routine and repetition. It feels wrong for it not to be cold outside outside in February! I'm sad that I haven't had the opportunity to wear all my cute sweaters as often as I'd have liked to! I'm sad that I haven't had the opportunity to drink all the warm beverages I've wanted to! I'm sad that I haven't had the opportunity to wear all the fragrances that I think are best suited for cold weather as often!

Speaking of fragrances, I received my first "you smell good" compliment today! I sprayed some Victoria Secret "Heavenly" body mist on myself this morning to freshen up before going to lab this morning. I was really surprised when a girl waiting for the elevator with me exclaimed that I smelt good, especially for a scent that I considered to be "cheap"! I've been slowly but surely getting into fragrances as of lately, despite me never having cared about the subject before. The extent of my experience with it until last fall was just whatever scented body creams I'd buy from Bath and Bodyworks during their semi annual sales, but even then I'd always been somewhat aware of the positive effects on mood, stress reduction, sleep enhancement, and self-confidence fragrance can have. Last fall, I suddenly had a bunch of friends become interested in fragrance and I got pulled down the Rabbit Hole with them. I even have a perfume/fragrance shrine that I've been working on locally because of my newfound interest, though it'll definitely be a while until I make it public. Unlike my friends though, I honestly only wear cheap body sprays/perfumes. Sharing my faves sometimes gets a little embarassing when they're raving about $200 to $300 luxury perfumes, but I'm sure that it's a feeling that I'll get over eventually. I remember when I was first getting into makeup I felt like I had to own prestige/luxury makeup products for my make up to be "good", but I can confidently say years later that I don't feel that way anymore. Maybe drugstore brands have just upped their game since I started doing my makeup, but either way I have no desire to purchase expensive products. I have a Dior lip oil that a friend of mine gifted me that I use so sparingly because of how expensive I think it is, meanwhile I have zero problems reaching for and using my ELF lip oils on a regular basis. I just don't feel good using expensive products, and I've embraced that as part of who I am, LOL. In my opinion, I don't really think that it's necessarily the price or brand of products that matters, but whether or not someone gets good use out of them. I don't have the disposable income to have a lot of luxury goods, go to the salon regularly, or buy my morning coffee everyday from local cafes, but I really am okay with that! In the future I'm going to remember that I spent time on myself by applying a nice scent to set my mood for the day, painting my nails because I like having nails my nails done, and making myself tasty homemade flavored coffees and teas. All that being said, I am interested to see if my perspective on any of this shifts when I finally have my first "real" adult job as a (fingers crossed) doctor or healthcare worker that actually pays more than just peanuts. It's weird knowing that I chose a career path with an average debt of over $200,000, so I know that becoming rich won't be happening anytime soon, LOL. Maybe it's for the best I don't have expensive taste.

Out of nowhere, I got a text from an old acquaintance asking me about an old research paper I published almost 3 years ago regarding healthcare equity in the United States. Despite me and this acquaintance not being super close or texting often, I've always felt super warm towards her. Regardless, getting texts from her about a paper I authored in my childhood bedroom at 19 out of the blue was super jarring! To be honest, I don't really see the paper that I wrote or research methods as super groundbreaking, I actually kind of forgot about it until she brought it up because of how long ago it was for me. It turns out that a class she's currently taking for her degree has been using it in class and she recognized my name as it's author! She texted me very excitedly that they are learning about me in class. I find this both flattering and absolutely terrifying. I'm often in my own little bubble with my blinders on, so I really do forget that the things I do and accomplish are capable of ripple effects, even if it just feels like throwing a rock into a pond and watching it sink to the bottom. It was a good reminder that nothing I contribute to this world is truly in a vacuum, whether it be my research, my website, or my actions.